


*title*

by spookyjimisnotonfire



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-10-13 01:31:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10503654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyjimisnotonfire/pseuds/spookyjimisnotonfire
Summary: idk man just read the thing





	1. Chapter 1

When Sebastian was born, he did so in a spectacular manner. By deciding almost 9 weeks early would be a good time to do it.

When Sebastian was born, he did so without functioning lungs, eyes and ears. He came out the wrong way round and managed to have almost every problem someone could have during birth save from an outright miscarriage or his mother dying of the stress she went through.

The poor woman, by the name of Mary, had gone into labour during a meeting at work and was too anxious to ask to go to the bathroom for at least 15 minutes after her water broke, and only did have an ambulance called after her boss yelled at her to.

When Sebastian was born, his mom held him next to her wife and said proudly, "we did it" as she gazed in awe at her son, his leg twisted the wrong way around, head bent out of shape and his whole body convulsing as he spluttered up mucus. Shortly after this heartwarming scene, a nurse screamed and ripped Sebastian from her clutches to go provide the infant with oxygen and a lot of medical care.

When Sebastian was three weeks old, he was brought home. And immediately brought back to the hospital.

"WHAT THE FUCK YVONNE I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU'VE DONE THIS I JUST GAVE BIRTH TO THIS THING AND NOW YOU'VE BROKE IT!" Mary screamed as she clutched the thoroughly entertained Sebastian to her chest and sprinted at full pelt through her nearest hospital. In spite of still being in recovery from birthing a whole being.

"Jesus fuck mary would you slow down" her wife Yvonne called from a considerable distance away, as she paused to breathe for fear of her health as her recently pregnant wife sprinted off ahead.

"I WILL NOT SLOW DOWN YOUR SON'S LIFE IS AT STAKE" said mary, calmly. Followed by some equally as calm incoherent screams that echoed behind her as she ran

So calm in fact, that the gentle whisper of her hysterics only woke every screaming baby in the maternity ward and sent her many equally as calm glares from exhausted nurses who just got them to shut up.

The tranquil nature of this encounter attracted the attention of a doctor who took one look at baby Sebastian and rushed him across corridors as mary began to dramatically scream like this was a soap opera.

"naughty babies must sit in the mother tank until they think about what they've done" whispered Yvonne to herself as her laughter shook the incubator-like cot Sebastian (and a back up chorus of about twenty tubes) was in.

Her wife, who had been crying for a solid hour by now slapped her in the shoulder and continued pacing.

"you're just a horrible person, I've had the thing three goddamn weeks and you broke it" mary said in a tone that would sound serious to anyone but her wife

"firstly, I didn't break anything actually, kid's just got hypothermia or something. He's fine he'll be fine he always is. He recovered from that mild loss of consciousness didn't he?" 

"Is that genuinely a question because we don't know what effects our baby temporarily dying had on him yet."

"Mary, shut up and sit the fuck down I fear for your wellbeing" Mary was about to reply with a sarcastic 'MY WELL BEING!!!?' followed by a long emotional rant when the baby started crying.

(the determination of babies, full of tubes and still somehow find ways to complain)

Mary calmly pressed the alert button with full confidence that it would summon the doctor as it had the previous 10 times. None of them had to do with the baby's health and wellbeing changing as was the use of the button, no they had more to do with Mary thinking she might give birth again due to stress and the doctor being summoned to ensure that's not physically possible. Nine times. Once Yvonne just sat on the button.

The doctor began speaking before he was even fully in the room"Ms McWilliams i ensure that you will not have another- HOLY CRAP" and with that the doctor sprinted out the door as quickly as he'd come in.

Sebastian had a variety of acute conditions, the result of which was many more weeks in the hospital and the doctor who had initially discharged him getting a slap on the back of the head. 

By the time Sebastian was discharged to go home and stay there, he looked to be more plastic and cast than baby, with a giant doc cap that he was swimming in and his moms took the time to draw winnie the pooh on, a cast for his leg that was quickly turning purple (the leg, not the cast. Although that would be cool though)and a leaflet titled "so your baby might be deaf" with the a stock photo of a doctor shrugging nonchalantly on the cover. 

Months had passed, and with only twenty more visits to the hospital between the three of them, many because Sebastian coughed or something. One time Yvonne broke her collarbone by running real hard into a door, and one time to chat with the lovely nurse Doris that delivered their baby and at the time of their visit was in the middle of delivering another one. Lovely lass she is.

But this didn't give them any sense of security, and as Sebastian's disabilities became more and more evident, so did their anxiety relating his future. This anxiety encompassed in a panic, starting because Sebastian had been screaming for a whole hour and ending at when Sebastian had been screaming for an hour and a half but his mam had stopped. 

"what if he is? what if he's an accident? what if we've doomed him to this life of nothingness!? what if he never knows us as his parents? do they even know anything, or truly feel or think? what if our son has no emotions, just a shell of a being destined to live alone and die alone in a hole somewhere at 30, if he even lasts that long. What is going to happen to our son? Our little baby. What are we going to do? what CAN we do?" 

"Mary"

"what if he's one of them Yvonne what if my mother was right? what would happen to him? oh god" her voice broke "what would happen to us? if they found out. we'd be.."

"Mary."

she took her head out from behind her hands and looked at her wife

"this is not the conversation to be having at the supermarket" she whispered loudly.

Yvonne spoke again when they reached their car "i don't know what will happen. all I can do, is be there for him right now and maybe, maybe if we make the most of the first few months, first five years then it won't be that bad if he is. Because at least we'll have got to know our little boy. At least we have some time. "

"you're a sap" mary sniffed and moved to give her visibly distraught wife a hug, or a reassuring fist bump or something.

Some time had passed and as it does, it took with it many initial worries. 

And Sebastian's leg which needed to be amputated. 

not that this slowed him down any, as his moms had found out the hard way when the day after he confidently walked three steps (admittedly later than every parenting book's guidelines. Very few parenting books have chapters on "normal times to hit milestones when your child has one and a half legs") he just as confidently ran three steps into the nearest wall and pretty much never stopped since

It happened on a day like every other day, the sun shone brightly in the June sky, about 80 birds were collectively screaming together in the trees, Sebastian sprinted full pelt into the coffee table 8 times before he was caught and tied to a chair for breakfast, Everything was as it had always been.

That was when the letter arrived. 

Dear parents and or guardians and or intergalactic lifeforms responsible for Sebastian McWilliams 

This letter has been issued to inform you of the upcoming testing date for the aforementioned child. Adequacy tests are held to a very high standard throughout your child's life so we would encourage you not to forget the following:

You and your aforementioned infant(s) will be expected to arrive on time to the exam  
You will not be permitted to have any communication between yourself and your infant(s) 24 hours before and after the exam takes place  
We would expect that your infant(s) would not be carrying any firearms in the examination hall, bins will be provided to place any weapons in for the duration of the exam  
We would expect your infant(s) to be dressed in at least minimalistic clothes for the event, socks are not minimalistic clothing and we would encourage you to dress your infant(s) in multiple items of clothing.

We will see you there  
(or else a penalty fee of 2,000,000 pieces will ensue)  
Regards,  
Management of WestLand and Even More Westland

Mary folded the letter and dropped it on the counter to the same speed of her stomach sinking. Then Yvonne read it and started yelling about what a load of bollox this was and how they didn't even include a date on the letter to remind us of the date.

One thing was for certain. Their child hadn't fallen through the cracks of the system that'd been in place for hundreds of years and was generally considered flawless and without cracks. He would be doing the test. And they would have their answer.

and so would everyone else.

*** 

"you're all stupid" sebastian said the minute he saw his mams again,

"shut up" said yvonne, pushing her son off his crutches and down the hill, sending mary off after him as always. 

***

"what's a compass?" said sebastian, peeking out from under his mothers' duvet. 

"well," started Mary, smiling wholesomely as she slapped her wife awake "somewhere in the world, there is a person who's entire existence revolves around you and knowing you. And probably a bunch of other things but y'know you're a big part of it"

"you sound like an ad for god's sake. RIght. Sebastian, when you turn 6 the magic in your brain will split off and form a fun little creature called a compass, it'll help you find that person and become who you were meant to be. Along with, in my case, help you with algebra"

"what's algeba?" sebastian mispronounced adorably

"ah now, one complex ideology at a time. Your compass will be an itty bitty animal " Yvonne described, stretching out her hands to show the size. Sebastian thought something wider than most of him lying down wasn't that small "and it'll be there for your whole life, until you find the person you're meant to be with forever."

"forever?" sebastian said, with the full dread of the universe in his eyes

"yeah butyoumight not even findthem" mary mumbled, realising halfway through that she shouldn't be putting more existential dread in her infant son and trying to put the words back in her mouth as she said them so they came out in a mumbly lump. Sensing Yvonne's glare she coughed and all but ran to the bathroom.

"what" said sebastian, who's hearing aid batteries had worn out and physically couldn't hear whatever the heckity heck his mam said, he was too busy thinking about being with a person forever. FOREVER?! what if they steal your crayons? do you have to be with them in the bath? That's gross what. what about when they go into shops? do you have to follow this person into Tescos? he hated tescos. what if he didn't even like the person what if they called him names? what was he gonna do for forever in tescos without crayons

"everyone has a purpose, a set path that defines everything you will achieve in your lifetime and what you're meant to do. Turns out yours might be being born dead." she smiles, pointing finger guns at her now trembling five year old son.

"YVONNE WHAT THE FUCK" screamed her wife from the next room.

"YOU STARTED IT" 

"MINE WASN'T HALF THAT BAD"

oh god, what if the person made him hold their hands after they ate?!! What if they never washed their hands?! what if--

***

the trucks came the same day as his results, practically the same time. It kinda ruined the hopeful atmosphere that he may have succeeded. Then again he only had one leg, and they wouldn't have a leg to stand on in the repeal.

ha ha.

Sebastian was asleep in their bed when they arrived and with just a glimmer of hope they had they left him there, perhaps to have a relaxing sleep in after realising they hadn't failed at parenting. But a scary man with a shock collar was standing at their door and they'd have to wake their kid up.

"he is our son. and we tried our goddamn best. Will you let the scary dude in and i'll wake him up, yeah?"

"i can't even cry anymore. i've lost so much. it's all just slipping through my goddamn fingers. i don't know what to do. what if he just takes him? what if we never get to say goodbye?"

"he won't. i'll stop him. Give our kid a hug from me okay." Yvonne said, she took a determined breath, rolled up her sleeves and was almost instantly overpowered by this 6" man who barged into their home

"where is 397A"

"w-would you like a cup of tea?!" mary all but yelled at him. The man looked at her grimly, he stepped closer, so their height difference was very visible and craned his neck down to look at the trembling woman before him. He narrowed his eyes, cracked his neck and said in the deepest voice Mary had ever heard. "yes please! two sugars, ta"

The man made his way to the living room and began to remove his boots and put his feet up on the coffee table. In spite of everything, the two didn't waste even a second staring at him in disbelief for fear he may really be a hallucination, and would disappear to the sound of their alarm clock. Instead they sprinted up the stairs and grabbed their sleeping child in their arms

"why" sebastian yawned before stopping when his mother started crying into his pyjamas and. Oh no. He might not have any adult teeth yet but he had a good enough grasp of their emotions, and if elmo was correct, they were sad. 

which meant one of three things;

1) he had broken another bone (probably not, only his leg was sore and technically it doesn't exist)

2) the big bad man has come to take him away due to an age old policy set in place by an inherently corrupt totalitarian government so long ago all members of that government has long since died but no one has bothered to amend the discriminatory legislation because after three generations of children being thought people with loosely defined "disabilities" are somehow lesser which is very difficult to dissolve and there's the matter of who would fight in the war if they abolished this and finally it's much cheaper to refuse services to a large percentage if the population and criminalise an even higher percent just for knowing them, so in conclusion, unfair laws set up by people with morally questionable motives continue to impact the lives of people like me to this day and one way they impact it is by sending the equivalent of goons that target young boys, burst into their homes and put their feet on the coffee table.

3) it was his birthday and he turned 6 (he still doesn't understand time yet so maybe)

the two of them wordlessly dressed him in an itchy shirt that was too big and a pair of trousers. Wordless, at sebastian had analysed, did not mean silent. It could have meant that they were too busy crying and staring into the distance. And crying again. Maybe they just really didn't like the wallpaper. Sebastian agreed but he would never say it out loud

"don't forget us" Mary said urgently snapping her head in his direction after being silent for a good five minutes. 

"what" said sebastian, because he was almost completely deaf and she was too busy crying and wildly flailing her arms to sign coherently.

"look, son" started Yvonne "there is a man downstairs who's gonna... look after you for a while okay? I just want you to know we both love you very much and will never stop loving you."

"what" said sebastian again, for the same reason as before. 

"remember the test? Yeah"

"oh" said sebastian, putting in his hearing aids and going pale. "wait no i don't"

"doesn't matter, it's just. You're gonna have to go away for a little while, yeah? we'll see you very soon we promise this isn't goodbye"

"HAVE YOU FINISHED SAYING GOODBYE FOREVER TO YOUR BASTARD SON?!" said the man, bounding up the stairs like he was trying to see if they'd break. He entered the room and grabbed the young boy by the shoulders. "i've given up on my cuppa by the way" he said at Mary with a scowl, ignoring the fact that she was on the floor clutching her little child desperately. 

***

"we love you!!"

"write as soon as you learn to write. oh god do you know our address?!? tell him our address!"

"first, no. secondly we don't teach them to read but i appreciate the optimism. Bye ladies" the man said, nonchalantly throwing their child by the scruff of his neck into the back of a white van and waved as he drove away.


	2. hey look bet you never thought this would happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk man just read the thing

There was three people in the room when the light turned on, wait two. Sebastian hadn't fully grasped counting yet. His parents had tried to teach him basics since the schools near them had closed to anyone who hadn't passed the test yet, but they were very busy people who regularly had disagreements about the order of numbers and if 'X' was even a letter or a government conspiracy against the letter 'S' (education maybe wasn't great in Even More Westland), and every babysitter/tutor had left within a week when they saw that he was deaf and had a tendency to introduce himself to new people by biting them sharply in the ankle (he was 4, what did you do when you were 4) So now, instead of a proper education he would get violent flashbacks of cartoon characters screaming about the importance of the number 4 that affected his sleep. 

One of the people was him, lying on his side and unable to get up as "they" had taken his leg. Definitely a great first impression that was, stealing a goddamn leg from a distraught 6 year old. (apparently they needed to make sure it could not be used as a weapon by using it as a weapon and testing its effectiveness) The second was another boy Sebastian saw out of the corner of his eye as he was initially too afraid to make direct eye contact. The boy's head was hung downwards with his long hair draping over his face. (he may have been 6 feet tall and been a hunched over demon in robes but at the time sebastian really didn't want to double check) He was rocking back and forth and repeatedly clicking his fingers above his head, little noises escaping from his mouth every so often like air escaping from a balloon. He looked like a distraught, emo crab. Sebastian could relate. He began to try to inch bit by bit over to them, but he didn't have a leg or much upper body strength and so it didn't turn out too great. 

"hey," he called, noting how his voice hung in the silence, something that never happened at home since he was the only child in a family of two people who routinely work from home. It caused an uneasy feeling in his stomach. He wanted his moms, or his bear. In fact, he hadn't actually brought anything other than himself (admittedly he did have a leg this morning though) The other kid didn't seem to have anything with him either other than evident psychological issues.

 

"you okay?" sebastian asked, knowing full bloody well he was not okay as he had begun quietly crying  
"never. never. never. never. never. never. never" he chanted like it was the backbeat to an accapella song  
"dude,"  
"never. Never. Never. NEver. Never. Never. Never. Never"  
"dude never is starting to stop sounding like a word"  
" unlikely to occur, not ever, not in any way, d-" and with that sebastian threw his only shoe at him which missed and whacked into the wall

No sooner did the do that, but the truck started moving and the walls burst into colour. On the ceiling it drew a picture of the sky, bright blue with only the clouds trailed by planes littering it's surface, the ground turned to the deep blurred black of fast-moving gravel with four black tires on each corner, each spinning so quickly everything below him turned into a black fuzzy mess, and each wall turned into Sebastian's own street, fully equipped with the curb he fell over and chipped his tooth, miss McArthur's house (with theoretically just as few sweets inside as she gives out on halloween the miserable owl' b-) and Sebastian's parents, clutching each other and standing as one lump that got progressively smaller as the truck drove away. 

"G'BYEEE" sebastian found himself yelling, flailing wildly in hope they could see and would interpret it as waving. At least that's what he hoped he said, his immediate reaction was to doubt that as from the front wall of the truck came the angered voice of the collared man from literally ten seconds ago yelling something about being quiet that was distorted by either the metal wall between them or sebastian's hearing aids he got from collecting the tokens off cereal (it was a weird marketing ploy). He didn't have long to ponder which as a hole emerged from the wall and out strode the man from the darkness. Sebastian thought the only thing that could make it more dramatic would be if someone had brought a strategically placed smoke machine.

"what now?!" the man bellowed unnecessarily since 1) the two people he was addressing were within a foot to a foot and a half away from him, and 2) this was the first time he had entered the room so the "now" in his sentence was completely irrelevant

"nothin'" they both said in unison or rather the boy said and sebastian attempted to say but signed alongside it just to be sure he understood even though he risked looking like the woman who signs in the corner of tv programmes and is always either way too into it or the human embodiment of wet cardboard.

"you dead or somethin?" the man asked, kicking sebastian's manic acquaintance lightly as if the boy was an animal that had just been hit with a car and he was checking if he'd proper killed it.

"yes, clearly" the boy replied, staring up at the man with spite-filled eyes. He seemed to be taking this badly. Sebastian however, didn't mind this whole ordeal, they was just going to.... wait.

"wher-" sebastian's naivety was cut short by the man scowling and dragging the boy by the scruff of his neck screaming into the darkness. Sebastian decided this wasn't the best time to ask and made a mental note to ask where they were going when he got there. 

The first stop Sebastian witnessed was outside a house not too far from his own. There stood a family of three adults and a young girl about his age trembling and clutching a toy rabbit with all her might. Unfortunately, the might of a 6 year old is often less than that of a fully grown man with a shock collar around his neck that will go off if he doesn't collect all these children and bring them to Greycoast by sunset, and so the rabbit as ripped from her hands and she was flung into the truck-room-thing in one swift motion without leaving her enough time to fully process what she was crying about specifically but enough to know that she should be crying. (which is just what she did) 

The second a far younger set of twins, one snatched off a swing and one chased after through a climbing frame in a local public park Sebastian and his moms had visited many weekends prior. The two boys were silent and solemn when they entered the truck, much to sebastian's distaste as he was an extrovert at heart and hadn't talked to anyone responsive all morning. The third and final stop took the longest and left the partially sobbing completely distraught group of children sitting in a hot van in the afternoon sun. After what may have been an hour or may have been a year the man returned carrying a petite girl by the scruff of the neck as she flailed wildly and cursed at him. The girls parents seemed to be otherwise busy as the only person to see her off was a scruffy labrador that barked at the man and at one point tried to bite off his boot. The two looked like an interesting pair of protagonists for a children's book where they venture about solving crimes adults should really be paid to solve.

"hello!" Sebastian said cheerily to the girl as she was forcibly kicked into the truck with them and went hurtling at the metal floor with a heavy thump.

"how can you be so happy?" she spat at him, showing off the gaps in her teeth that proved to sebastian that she was noticeably older than him and he probably shouldn't be talking to her "what are you on?" the aggression in her voice started the rabbit girl off crying again so she repeated it just as aggressively in sign

"lots of calpol actually,it's also partially because i've completely no idea what is happening" sebastian said, only slightly hoping she knew

"you're unreal" she said, sitting up properly as she appeared to be done checking if her legs worked and if the man had broken any bones by throwing her real hard at a metal truck.

"I'm not! Really i'm not" Sebastian retracted, desperate for the longest conversation he'd had all morning to continue. Sadly this would not be the case as the girl just put her head in her hands and curled up in a weird little concentrated ball of sad that wouldn't respond at all and was generally no fun.

So it was them, all 5 of them. It took sebastian a good minute to reassess who he was counting and wasn't helped by the first boy being emitted from the void halfway through and ruining Sebastian's train of thought by landing on him.

The sky got dark about three hours before it should have according to Sebastian's internal clock and the digital clock on the wall that bounced around the surroundings like a drunk pigeon that was following them around and/or tied to the side of the truck. Some of the kids suggested it was the hundreds of drone flying a mile above them blocking out the sun, others started crying again so he didn't ask them. It was in this twilight shadow that they first encountered the short, stocky building that was Greycoast bunker (as sebastian would later learn). 

This is the point where if this were a real novel and not just an elongated shitpost that is somehow on it's second chapter, i would describe the building in great detail, painting the picture of a building that was the physical embodiment of a boring conversation, I would describe how it was build hardly a story high and in a shape that looked like it was going to fight you, that any plant life in the area was so long replaced with cement that it looked as if someone had chosen the colour scheme of Grey and more Grey and with an extra tint of Grey in advance to match the name instead of the name uncreatively following " 'cause it was grey and by the coast". If this was a proper book, i would describe how the pathway to the bunker was a broken and winding piece of memorabilia attributed to the road that once was before buildings fell on it and nobody had the resources to clear up, and how the van bounced along it recklessly as if it was driven by a man who was 15 minutes behind schedule and really didn't want to be electrocuted via the device in his neck made exclusively for that purpose. If this was a real book, this paragraph wouldn't be written in the hypothetical tense. But, this was written in the perspective of a boy who had barely turned 6 and so he was distracted by a bird and missed all of this.

The bird was very pretty and blue and oh look he's been thrown out onto the pavement ow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's not over, but it's shit already.


End file.
